The Curfs of Life
Recently I had lunch with an old acquaintance from college days. In the forty-five years since we shared dorm and student life we had rarely bumped into each other. But now Brent lives in the next town over. Since leaving Germany three years ago which was home for 38 years of our lives, Jan and I have longed for meaningful friendships. I sought out Brent, hoping that we could rekindle and deepen our relationship.
What he said to me at lunch caught me off guard. He said, “Let’s start by talking about the pain in our lives.” The statement both shocked me and drew me in. The more I’ve thought about it, the more it makes sense to build a relationship based upon pain. Why? Because pain is the great reality of life, but hardly anyone wants to go there.
A curf is a slit made by a cutting tool. Think of how many curfs had to be cut to build the house in which you live.
Life is like a saw that cuts slits into our hearts. We are all bleeding. The cuts may have come from our parents, a teacher, an accident, or poor financial decision-making. Many of our cuts were self-inflicted. What happens when we begin to share the pain of our cuts? Friendship happens. A new world of empathy and understanding, a window into the soul of another person is opened to us. What a gift pain can be!
The basis of Christ’s resurrection from the dead are the curfs he endured in our place. Six hundred years before the birth of Jesus, the prophet Isaiah foresaw the life and works of Jesus. “He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities.” (Isa 53: 5). The cross exhibits the willingness of the Son of God to throw himself into the buzz saw of suffering and death, to experience pain beyond anything we have experienced. Why? The reason is somber: to take upon himself our transgressions and our iniquities. All the rebellion that we exhibit in sinning against a holy God, Jesus took upon himself in order to take away the effects of that rebellion, estrangement from God.
When Jesus extended his wounded hands to his disbelieving disciples after his resurrection, he was offering them the gift of friendship. To love us deeply Jesus had to suffer immeasurably. How irresistible is such a friendship!