The Virtue of Intolerance
When we lived in Germany, I remember needing to visit a physician. I took a book along to make good use of my time as I waited to be summoned to the examination room. When I was in her office, my doctor noticed that I was reading a Christian book. Thereupon she said, “I think that faith is very important. Everyone needs to have faith. It doesn’t matter what they believe in, the main thing is that one has a belief.” I rejoined by saying, “I hope I’m not being cared for by a tolerant doctor. If I am sick, the last thing I need is for you to be tolerant of my sickness.” She responded by saying, she never thought about tolerance that way.
We need to be tolerant of people but discriminate when it comes to the views they espouse. This only makes sense. We are intolerant in much of our daily decision-making. When we have a headache, we don’t typically tolerate it but grab a painkiller that will alleviate the discomfort. When a football fan sees one of their team’s receivers being pulled back by an opposing player and thus not making the catch, they instinctively look for a yellow flag from a referee. When a homeowner misses his monthly mortgage payments, his bank will not let it slide.
Intolerance is baked into our everyday lives, so much so that we hardly think about how often we are intolerant.
Being tolerant of another person’s aberrant thinking is caused by either laziness or fear. When we let someone espouse an untruth as if it were true and not challenge their position, it often goes back to not undertaking the heavy lifting that it takes to explore what is true. But the most prevalent reason for being tolerant of someone’s weak reasoning is fear of relational estrangement. Should we push back on their position, we fear rejection.
How do we navigate practicing the virtue of intolerance with someone we care about deeply? First, we need to work on understanding our own well-founded and logical conviction. Based on the weight of facts and reasoning, what is it that we believe? Second, we value our conversation partner when we preface a disagreement with something like, “You know, I really like you and I cherish our friendship. But there is something that bothers me. If you want to know what it is, just ask.” The ball is then in their court. They will initiate a conversation where we can openly and lovingly make our case.
There is no virtue in being tolerant when faulty reasoning is at play. Your next doctor’s appointment should bear that out. The best way to live is to foster a healthy view of the virtue of intolerance.
What are your thoughts and experiences around tolerance in the Christian life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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